How to Find the Best Therapist for Your Teenager
Parenting teenagers comes with unique challenges and concerns, especially when it comes to supporting their mental health. The adolescent years are marked by significant physical, emotional, and social changes, and many teens benefit from working with a qualified therapist. According to the World Health Organization, one in seven teenagers will experience mental health concerns between the ages of 10 and 19. If you’re searching for the best therapist for your teen, you may feel overwhelmed by the options and unsure how to choose. This guide will help you understand how to find a therapist who meets your teenager’s needs, even if they are hesitant about starting therapy.
Understanding Your Teen’s Level of Need.
Before beginning any search, take a moment to assess how urgent your teen’s needs are.
When Immediate Action Is Needed: In cases of active self-harm or active thoughts of suicide, immediate action and a higher level of care is recommended, such as going to a crisis center or hospital emergency room for assessment and further referrals.
In other cases, where there is no current crisis management, this can look like seeing your therapist weekly, biweekly, or perhaps even multiple times a week. Signs to look for are anxiety, lack of enjoyment of old hobbies, increasing perfectionism, isolation, significant change in weight and eating (too much or too little), and extensive time online whether video games or social media, family conflict, social anxiety, insecurity, too much or too little sleep, a history of trauma, and lastly your intuition. As a parent, you are the expert on your child. If your gut says they need more support, don’t second-guess it. Reach out to a therapist.
Where to Start Your Search for a Teen Therapist
Psychology Today has countless professionals with endless qualifications available to contact; it is intimidating to sift through, hoping to find the perfect fit for your teen. Other places to look for recommendations are by asking a school counselor, pediatrician, community centers, your insurance provider or even other parents. You can search for area, insurance coverage, specialty and other filters on the Psychology Today website. You can search for “therapists in Yardley, PA” if you want in person. Many people in Bucks County would use zip codes to find a therapist but with virtual counseling as an option sometimes searching in your area eliminates qualified therapists throughout Pennsylvania or the state you are looking in so searching for specialty is a better way if you want to find virtual counseling.
Practical Considerations
- Will you use insurance or pay out of pocket (reminder, you can always ask your provider if they will take a super bill to reimburse out-of-pocket treatment)? If insurance is nonnegotiable, use your insurance as a filter when searching on platforms such as Psychology Today. But remember, if there is someone who seems to be a good fit but is financially out of reach, you can always inquire about the option of a sliding scale.
- Do you care if therapy is in person, virtual, or hybrid? Which do you think will be a better fit for your teen's ability to engage and meet the needs of your family’s schedule and abilities?
- Is there a particular modality of therapy that your teen seem more interested in or that you think could fit your family? Examples: Art, Dance, Music, family systems, CBT, or EMDR?
Key Questions to Ask When Choosing a Therapist & Assessing Fit with Your Teen.
Most therapists will offer a free introductory call to help you assess if they are a good fit for you. To use this time to its full advantage, prepare carefully for this call and don’t be afraid to talk to several therapists before choosing one to start with. Some things to think about:
- It can be helpful to start with the nonnegotiable first before taking the time to get into the details, so confirm rate, schedules, insurance, or in-person vs. virtual first!
- Is the therapist willing to work with the family as well as the teen? No, you may not need full family therapy, but research has shown that when working with minors, significant and long-lasting improvement is most likely to happen with parental involvement in therapy. So, make sure your therapist has a plan to incorporate you in the process. Remember, your therapist is temporary; family lasts much longer, so nurturing this relationship in therapy strengthens the foundation of this relationship to last long after the therapeutic work is complete.
- What is your therapist’s plan for confidentiality? An ambivalent or hesitant teen may want to be reassured of their privacy in sessions. Additionally, in the state of Pennsylvania, a minor 14 or older must consent to mental health treatment and has a right to confidentiality.
- What will the Intake process look like? Preparing your teen for the intake is important, as some therapists may have both the teen and parent present for the intake. The teen can feel attacked or unheard when the parent is listing concerns. If the therapist is open to it, it can be helpful to request that the intake be in two parts: one with the teen present and involved, and one in which the parent can share their perspective privately with the therapist.
- If your teen is unsure of therapy or even against the idea of therapy, talk with the therapist about their experience handling this.
- Lastly, take some time to think about any other logistics that might impact your decision to work with this therapist. Some teens and families may have a preference for gender, ethnicity, age, or religion.
When Your Teen is Resistant to Therapy?
Parents of teenagers are no strangers to ambivalence, and most teens will push against the idea of therapy. Research shows that the therapeutic process is most successful when the client is ready for the work and has some say in the process. However, this research has mostly to do with adults; and though it is undoubtedly helpful to have a willing teen in therapy, some level of resistance is normal, and most seasoned teen and child therapists will be equipped to handle this. Nevertheless, your teen having some say in the early stages of the process will create more engagement in the long run. Some ideas:
- Understand your teen's perspective of therapy- do they understand what it means, or have they adopted a view of therapy from media or conversations with other teens? Perhaps you can share your own experience of therapy, or you can answer questions about therapy with your teen.
- What are their nonnegotiable and how can you accommodate them when possible?
- Can they be involved in the search process? Looking at profiles, coming up with interview questions, and maybe involving them in part of the consultation call or a follow-up call once you have approved the therapist.
- Most importantly, make space to listen to your teens and how they feel about starting therapy, even if you have to pursue therapy when they ask not to. Giving space to validate and listen to their feelings on the topic is important.
Final thoughts: It takes time to build a relationship, so it’s okay if things don’t feel perfect in the first session. Often, it’s good to stick it out a few sessions to really know if you have found the right therapist. Just as with any relationship, the therapeutic alliance is built on trust and shared experiences (in this case, the time in therapy), which takes time and may take even longer with a teen who is resistant. Yet, the process, even a slow one, is worth the work and the wait. However, if your gut says it’s not a good fit, keep looking. Parents are the experts on their child, and sometimes that gut feeling means this is not the one for your family.
As daunting and emotional as it is to decide to seek professional support for your teen, it is the first step on the road to healing and growth for your family. As a parent, you are not alone in the process, and it can be helpful to find other parents who are also seeking out help or who have in the past for their teenager. There is a therapist out there for your family, and you are equipped to find them!
